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DEALING WITH THE CAUSE OF INSOMNIA: WHO’S IN THE DRIVING SEAT?
Sometimes we don’t know why we feel anxious; some people don’t even recognize that they are anxious. Hypnotherapist Gloria May points out: ‘A lot of chronic insomniacs seem to rush around trying to get themselves tired enough to go to sleep, but it doesn’t tie up like that. I think sometimes they are seeking oblivion from problems they’re unaware of. The state of going into sleep is when your unconscious chucks things up, and they want to avoid that. But even then, they’re often not even aware of worries popping up; they just say “I can’t get to sleep”.’
Rushing round all day and going to bed with a mind that’s exhausted but awake is all too common these days. Modern life doesn’t encourage natural rhythms. We start work at the same time all year round, whether it’s dark or light; commuter travel is uncomfortable and frustrating. Office atmospheres are often unhealthy as well as fraught; lunch may be a snatched sandwich or hamburger. For many people ‘relaxation’ takes place in the artificial atmosphere and noise of pubs and discos.
Small wonder that rushers-round can’t sleep. The whole physical and nervous system becomes jangled and out of gear. There is no breathing space to look at problems Ђ” or just to breathe! Body and mind are poorly nourished. And underlying this frantic rush, an anxious little voice is often sending anxious little messages that we don’t want to hear Ђ” Am I good enough?’ Ђ” ‘Is this all there is to life?’ Ђ” ‘Why aren’t I happy?’
If your life is anything like this, and it has resulted in insomnia, ask yourself what you are truly getting out of it. OK, so modern life is like that. But does that mean yours has to be? What or who is driving you to over-work, eat badly, maybe drink too much, or work till all hours so that by bedtime your brain is buzzing?
Much of our busy-busy behaviour is due to conditioning by other people, and our beliefs about how life should be lived may be nothing to do with what we really need. The work ethic says we mustn’t waste a moment; social standards say we must have a ‘good time’ and be successful. We must also be seen to be successful by buying and owning more and more goodies for ourselves and our families; to keep the merry-go-round turning we have to work even harder. Yet when you were a child, was it this that you wanted from life? Who programmed your computer?
Anti-DepressantNone of these voices are the whole you. But you may be allowing one or a few of them to drive you into more and more activity, because that’s what they see as ‘leading a full life’. They are kidding you. What they are actually doing is forcing you to drive on one cylinder, heading towards burn-out. To be your whole self, in touch with all your resources, you need to recognize the existence of those other, neglected parts of you. It could be their need to be heard that is keeping you awake.
So, see if you can hear the thoughts and voices underlying your daily rush. Who’s driving you on? Are you responding to other people’s programming Ђ” perhaps a critical father demanding that you prove your worth, or a perfectionist mother setting you impossibly high standards? Do you have to believe those voices from the past? What does the real you need and want from life, and are you getting it?
*27/169/2*
