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DEALING WITH THE CAUSE OF INSOMNIA: FACING UP TO THE PROBLEM
Night-time is no time to deal with anxieties, regrets and general unpleasantness. But it may be the only time you’ve left for them to be heard, because they are uncomfortable. Busy with other things during the day, you brush your worries under the carpet and promise yourself you’ll deal with them later. Only you don’t. Meanwhile, under the carpet they grow into monsters which creep up on you when you’re at your most vulnerable.
It’s really vital to deal with that unfinished business during the day. It’s not going to go away until you do. Once you start taking some sort of action, even if it’s only the decision to take action, the energy that has been stuck, going round in circles, or keeping you depressed, will begin to flow.
Talking to someone else is a good start, whether it’s a professional counsellor, your partner or an understanding friend. Airing your troubles begins to get them out of your head, and once they’re out they can look far less frightening than when they loom up in the dark hours.
If you’re anxious, talking with someone else may help you to realize that anxiety is actually quite normal; other people get anxious, too, and ride it out. Without uncertainties life would be pretty boring. Half the enjoyment of films and books is not knowing how they will end. Anxiety in fact is very akin to excitement. It can spur you to action. It’s only when it becomes crippling that anxiety itself is something to worry about.
For depression, too, finding a good listener can help you to get those debilitating feelings out of your system. Don’t be ashamed to ask for professional help in the form of counselling or psychotherapy; I’ll talk more about this in the next chapter.
For the unfulfilled, talking with someone else can help you to uncover what’s holding you back, and help you to move forward.
Meanwhile, if you’ve no one to talk to, start getting things out of your system by writing them down, or even drawing pictures of them. Some people find it helps to have a teddy bear or a doll to talk to — it may sound childish but it often works. Or keep a ‘worry-jar’: every time a worry pops into your head, write it on a slip of paper and put it in the jar.
Change your self-talk
Really listen to your thoughts, and see if you can’t change them. Is your anxiety based on reality? Supposing you don’t pass that exam, or driving test, or get through that interview, is it really a matter of life or death? What’s the worst that can happen? Can you remember a previous time when you were anxious and everything turned out fine?
Similarly, if you are depressed, you are probably regularly feeding yourself negative statements. Remind yourself that they are the result of faulty computer programming. What parents or teachers said about you in the past has nothing to do with the real you, now. Start to talk kindly to yourself, as you would have liked to be talked to when you were a child. Eventually that inner child will begin to feel happier.
Above all, resolve not to focus on your depression. It may hang around you like a cloud, which makes it difficult to ignore, but you don’t have to get sucked into it. Try to regard it as you would regard bad weather; it’s making the world look grey for the moment, but it will pass. Meanwhile, it doesn’t have to stop you living life to the full.
Anti-DepressantTake some action
Whether you’re anxious, depressed or unfulfilled, it’s important to start moving. The longer you put off doing something about an unsatisfactory situation, the worse it gets — and the more your mind will churn when you get to bed. Energy that you could be using during the day revolves in circles, keeping you unhappy and uncomfortable, instead of being used creatively. When you start to move forward, that energy will support you.
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This entry was posted on Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009 at 11:33 am and is filed under Anti-Depressant. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.