Zyvox (Linezolid)
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NORMAL BEREAVEMENT: REMEMBERING MARRIAGE
Anyone who has a happy marriage is dependent. We open our hearts to need when we open them to love. But needing someone is very different from rushing into another’s arms out of fear. The people in this study who were rated as having dependent marriages used the relationship as a refuge from the world. Rather than a platform for full living, marriage was a cocoon for avoiding life. Unless they could find someone else to lean on after being widowed, they remained immersed in mourning – incapable of building a new life.
This makes sense, but why would an unhappy, conflict-ridden marriage produce a more rocky, prolonged bereavement? Wouldn’t losing someone you really loved produce a more yawning emotional gap? This description from my aunt, Frances Sheerr, offers clues.
I married Stanley when we were young. We were together for more than forty years. I still miss him terribly, but I’m getting along. He taught me to feel strongly that what you give is what you get. Because we were fulfilled in each other, we could be generous. It was important to him to be affectionate and considerate, to tell me continually how wonderful I was. I naturally found myself doing the same with other people I cared about. Throughout this year my friends have stuck close. My children value my company and want me around. And because our marriage was so good, I miss him terribly but am not eaten up by regret. The happiness we found in each other offered me a legacy crucial to withstanding this tragedy: loving children and caring friends.
Because it strengthens us as people, a loving marriage may paradoxically help us remake an independent life after a husband or wife dies. And because love is infectious, a happy marriage may leave us richer in confidants to soften the blow. However, someone who loses a spouse who was more devil than saint enters widowhood weakened and battle scarred. The marriage was far from wonderful; death may even bring a feeling of liberation. At the same time, seeing the marriage as having meaning may be important to achieving closure and going on. But the widowed person remains stymied by the truth, perhaps wracked with resentment and guilt about these feelings. The intense anger and guilt spell depression – a pathological mourning response.
When loved ones die there is a natural impulse to award them a halo, epitomized by the injunction “Don’t speak ill of the dead.” While the difficulty of doing this causes problems for survivors of unhappy marriages, it can compound grieving after the most loving unions too. For instance, a man may have adored his wife for her gentle spirit but hated the way she always left the house a mess. After her death he may seethe with self-hate when he feels relieved at walking into a clean house. But he is wrong in feeling that his emotion is “bad” or that it subtracts from the love that was there. No human being is an angel. The best memorial to someone we love lies in remembering the real person who lived.
*99/159/5*
