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SEX AFTER HEART ATTACK: SPECIAL CONSIDERATIONS FOR WOMEN
The reality, unfair though it might be, is that most research in cardiac recovery, including sexual activity, has been done with men. Very few studies have concentrated on women. Yet women certainly have heart attacks and bypass surgery, and the numbers are growing every year. And women want to return to a healthy sex life just as much as men do.
Dr Chris Papadopoulos at the South Baltimore General Hospital and University of Maryland interviewed 130 female patients who had had heart attacks. Of those women, 30 per cent of those who had been sexually active before the cardiac event were concerned about resuming sexual activity. Primarily owing to fears, 27 per cent of the women did not go back to sex, 27 per cent were unaffected in their sex lives, and 44 per cent reported that sexual activity had been decreased. Only 45 per cent of all those women said they had received sexual instructions before leaving the hospital, and in only 18 per cent of the cases was the discussion started by the physician. Fully 57 per cent of the women told of symptoms during intercourse.
Dr Papadopoulos concluded that heart attack has a negative impact on female sexuality, yet the women were not getting the attention and information they needed to include sex in their full cardiac recovery.
Women are concerned not only whether they will be in danger during intercourse. They’re worried that they won’t be attractive to their husbands, that their spouses won’t desire them any longer. Moreover, they fear that they won’t be able to satisfy their husband’s sexual needs.
This is all the more tragic when one considers that, for the vast majority of female patients, none of those fears is founded in reality. As we’ve seen, there is no more reason to discontinue sexual activity than to become physically inactive in any other sense. As we now know, quite the opposite is true. Doctors want their patients to be physically active, and that includes sexual activity as well.
Husbands need to be reassured just as much as wives that sex will not harm their spouses after heart attack or bypass. If anything, this is a time when even more caring, touching, caressing and hugging are called for. And sex is a natural, healthy, wonderful extension of such loving.
While it’s true that there has been very little formal study of women following heart attack, some observations have been made. Women may have a decreased ability to lubricate and to achieve orgasm. On the other hand this may be more the result of the stresses and fears associated with sexual activity than of the underlying cardiac illness. Unfortunately, problems women experience have a domino effect on their husbands, who may have problems with premature ejaculation, impotence and a generalised fear of having sex lest it harm their wives.
The best advice for women must be identical to that for men. Sexual activity should no more be limited than any other physical pursuit. As cardiac recovery progresses, sexual activity is likely to increase in both quantity and quality. And all efforts directed at improving general health are certain to have a positive impact on a woman’s sex life.
Women face problems whether they are patients or partners. As wives of patients, they share their husbands’ fears, and in some cases they exceed them. That can be emasculating for their men. It’s a fine line any spouse must walk, to care rather than to cripple.
What about the woman who has had a very lusty enjoyment of sex, and who has frequent if not regular orgasms? Her husband takes pride in her satisfaction. But immediately after heart attack or surgery her husband may not be able to perform at the physical level previously achieved. Now she may not have that expected orgasm. Should she fake it?
Honesty and openness are necessary now more than ever before. It would be a mistake to fake orgasm in order to protect the husband’s sense of manhood. A more appropriate response would be to reassure the man that the sex was fully enjoyable and that it won’t be long before the couple will be back to a full level of sexual intensity.
Cardio & BloodBy all means, talk about sex. It’s been part of your lives for years, and we certainly expect that it’ll be there for years to come. Talk about it now. Talk together. Talk with your doctor and nurse. If necessary get some counselling. But don’t, please don’t, let sexual frustration for either of you develop into marital discord. There’s just no reason for it.
But what about single people or gays? They have special needs and considerations in their sexual lives which cannot be ignored. For virtually everyone, sex is an integral part of life.
*45/85/2*
